Your tales live here
Josh
When the breaking began, I painted over the cracks with crimson & gold. I did not think to ask myself what was the source of these brilliant hues, why I felt weaker & paler with each stroke of the brush, why the radiance no longer lit my steps, or why the dark shadows inside me were lengthening. I ignored the heavy stickiness, too thick to be paint, and the magical sparkling flecks, too precious to be merely real gold. It was my own life force & potential I was sacrificing to maintain the illusion, and the more I surrendered my reality, the more essential it became to me that I maintained my delusion. I was pale, cold, and dim by the time life pried the brush from my numb, desperate, unyielding hands.
“There’s a danger in loving somebody too much…”
I had spent a lifetime wishing on shooting stars and believing all I had to do was believe. For twenty years, I had given away my most valuable possessions to the least-worthy person imaginable. To the point when, once they were returned to me, I no longer saw them as being worth anything at all. My heart was held together by a network of scar tissue; the pain was all I had to hold myself together. As much as I hated this new self-image of weakness & victimhood, I depended upon it as the only source of any cohesive identity I had left. Without the pain & the scars, I was nothing […]
Maxim
My ex-girlfriend and I lived together for about three years. Like most couples, we went through a lot of things together. Sometimes she would just get really angry if things didn’t quite go her way. During those times, sometimes we’d argue loudly. I’ve never hit a woman. It goes against everything I believe in. When we’d fight, sometimes she’d throw things and even break them or other things. One time she used a cooler and smashed my car window with it. If you ever heard about domestic violence against men, this was a classic case, but I was really into her. I’m also very loyal and, as a Marine, I don’t give up easily.
I can put up with a lot of things and I thought this was worth fighting for, so I stayed. The only things that would have made me leave would have been infidelity because as I said, I am a very loyal person. She asked me once if I’d ever leave her and I told her that cheating would be the only thing that would be the final straw. She actually said, “You’d leave this?” kind of showing off her body (she used to model), and I said, “For that reason? Absolutely!”
I used to work a lot of hours, from 0500 until sometimes 1900 or 2000, but I made good money. She would work, too, but not as many hours as me. Her modeling jobs were sporadic, too. Sometimes she’d take lower-paying jobs.
One day I came home […]
Laura
I was raised with shame, so it followed that I would choose inappropriate partners as an adult.
I had split from my husband, and moved back home with my toddler to care for my dying father in San Francisco. He continued his verbal and emotional abuse, and this time it included my son, so I planned to leave once again.
At that time I had a semi-boyfriend, more like just an amusement to pass the time, but he was often drunk, drugged out of his mind, and mean, so I was eager to leave. I stupidly gave him an address to write me. My ex husband was kind enough to let me and our boy stay with him and his future wife until I got my own place, but a knock on the door changed all that. It was him, he had stalked me up to Montana. All sorts of bad events followed, including rape.
Fast forward a bit, I’m forced to stay in the homeless shelter, because he was causing trouble. He was always around the entrance, waiting for me to leave the building. One night, I had my son in the shelter for a visit, and when I left the building for some fresh air, my father-in-law rushed up to me and yanked my son from my arms. People were screaming: that guy stole her baby! My ex had passed a forged check at my father-in-law’s bar, so not only did he take my son, I was arrested at the same […]
Joseppe
It’s been two years since I’ve been back at the office. For as long as I can remember I was always an advocate for the “work from home” model. I have my personal reasons for it: I enjoy working along with my partner our his apartment. I have a comfortable work-from-home set up with a proper chair that gives me no back pain. I have two dogs, one of which is still a puppy — instead of having meaningless chats in the office, I go for short breaks out with my doggies.
Sometimes I suffer from anxiety (an anxiety attack could literally hit me out of nowhere — so obviously I prefer to stay at home).
But i also has solid professional reasons why I believe that working from home is a benefit to the business and health. I presented my reasonings to the higher management (along with like-minded colleagues):
• I invest more time working than commuting.
• My performance increased when working from home and I’ve managed to exceed my targets.
• My mental health has improved.
• I have taken fewer sick days than in any previous years.
The higher management listened to the employees but choose not to implement work from home or hybrid model. Their argument was that employees are missing on socializing in the office and therefore the team is not as efficient. Ironically, the team’s performance was better than ever so obviously this was a lie.
The real reason is that someone “from above” just wished to control and micromanage the […]
Anndrej
I’ve seen too many women alienate children from their fathers. My ex-partner was one of them. I asked myself why? It too me years to understand that the reasons is that they wish to hurt their ex-partner for leaving them. These partners focus only on their own wishes and needs — they are driven by an obsessive desire to punish the other parent. They don’t understand that children need both parents to develop into healthy adults.
I am struggling to co-parent with my ex. I tried for years to keep the communication open, positive, and productive. I engaged in countless, nonsense communications with my ex to keep in touch with our children as I feared that the ex would cut me out of our children lives.
But I am a parent too. I parental responsibility and my ex can keep up causing issues but I have the right to be involved in our children’s lives. This year I finally secured a court order.I hoped that things would become easier but they didn’t. The ex continuous to engage in toxic behaviours such as:
• Intervenes and limits the communication between me and our children.
• Tells lies, badmouths and belittles me in front of our children.
• Speaks poorly about my family.
• Undermines my authority.
• Disregards the court order — visitations and contact arrangements.
I’ve realized it’s nearly impossible to to co-parent with a toxic parent who does the above things. Co-parenting is teamwork. It’s a mutual effort to do things in the […]
Jose
I Have Three Children, But In Reality, I Have None.
“You know, always wanted to have a family. I wanted to have children. I wanted to be a good husband and a devoted father. I wanted to be the provider for the family, someone they can always lean on and find comfort and support…I have three children and somehow I feel that I have none…”
I am an empath.
A few years back I got divorced. I was married for 8 years, and in the last 5 years of my relationship with my ex-wife, our communication and closeness started fading off. I have two boys with her. She too wanted a family, but not with me.
She just wanted the kids — not the relationship.
She persuaded him to move from Berlin to a small town in south Germany, just so she can be close to her mum and dad. She stopped working, and I was okay with that. After all, I was the provider. The man!
My wife decided it would be good if we buy a flat in Berlin, but live with her parents, under their roof in this little town. I obliged and took a mortgage and got them a spacious apartment in Berlin.
Years went by and my wife along with her parents made more decisions, excluding me and just demanding more money from me. I kept on giving them the money. By doing so I hoped to keep my family. I worked long hours, and side gigs, and gave money directly to […]
Daryya
I grew up with a narcissistic mother. Up until my father was present, she used to celebrate Christmas, Easter, birthday’s and attend many child-friendly events. Unfortunately, my mother did all in her power to cut contact between me and my father.
Now, years later when I am finally grown-up is— I don’t speak to my mother and I have reconnected my father. When I was a child my father did all that he could to take her into his custody and provide her with a better life. But unfortunately, the brutal truth is — courts in the Western parts of the world prefer mothers over fathers.
The last birthday I celebrated with her father was when I was 9 years old, since then my mother has made no effort to celebrate my birthdays. She usually made an excuse such as:
“Your father is not paying me enough so therefore we won’t be celebrating anything from now on…”
The funny thing is that my parents separated when I was an infant and since then my mother had over 6 relationships. Yes, I had had too many stepfathers. Somehow, even with the support of the stepfather, her wider family, her mother’s job my mother was unable to buy me a present or just take me out to a cinema.
My mother had all the resources to provide me with a “semi-happy” childhood, instead, she focused on herself. And that’s what narcissistic mother’s do. They think only about themselves:
They lack empathy.
They are self-centred.
They are passive aggressive.
They gaslight and […]
Jason123
I’ve been through a lot, like many others who have unfortunately dated, married or had children with narcissistic women. The fact is that narcissistic people are one of the most dangerous creatures out there. But I managed to escape the abuse.
Just after New Year’s Eve with help from my family and friends I was evacuated from this abusive relationship. It was hard for me to leave her, especially since we have a baby together, but I had no other option.
Let me rephrase this I had two options: either I stay and continue to suffer or leave. I wanted to be there for my son. Currently, my I am in a very bad shape, like many who have been emotionally and physically abused by narcissists. I started therapy, I thought of suicide, I thought of going back to her, I thought of going forward.
Currently, I am living in my mums home.
The apartment that I bought is empty, I am unable to pay the mortgage, she robbed me of all the money. She wants the apartment to be sold and money split even. She hasn’t invested a single dime into the apartment, and we were never married. But she still demands it. Legally, she has no right to demand any money that she hasn’t invested.
“I will fight you until the end of my life if you don’t give me what I deserve!” That’s what she keeps telling me.
But the truth is that narcissists don’t just disappear, they are always here, lurking and […]
Cypher777
After watching Johnny Depp trial, I made a decision today — to go to court, to enter the war, and annihilate my ex-partner, a malignant narcissist. I know too well that for narcissists, the court is their stage, and they are the leading actors.
But I have faith in the legal system. I don’t want to give up on his 7-year-old son. I can’t watch him grow up and become the reflection of his mother. I wish to give our son better life.
I tried to reason with my narcissistic ex, I attempted to co-parent, I tried to get her help: I called psychiatrists, psychologists, therapists. Nothing worked. And I am broken and have nothing to lose.
I am on the verge of suicide and fearing losing the battle, and our son, I realized that my narcissistic ex will never be cured or changed. I realized that he would never win the war, but maybe I might win the battle by accepting that his ex will never get better and that I must prioritize himself.
“Why me?”, I asked myself.
Because my friend is a rescuer
Because he is compassionate
Because he is a co-dependent
Ultimately, I was the caretaker of my narcissistic ex, and I became addicted to needing to take care of her, instead of myself first.
Now, I know that my well-being comes above everything else. And if I don’t get well, then there is no chance I would win the battle or the war and support our son through the horrendous ordeal ahead of him.
I […]
Badger
Have you heard the phrase, “stop badgering me?” I am sure you have. To those non-English speakers let me explain the meaning of this phrase. It means to persuade someone by telling them repeatedly to do something that they just don’t want to do.
Why do you think is the badger used in this expression and not any other animal? Because badgers are very tenacious, diligent, persistent — they don’t stop until they get what they want and need. This is what my girlfriend has been doing to me.
I’ve had a stuffed badger for years. This animal has been at my friend’s place for over three years now.
Why? Because I am an abusive relationship. Just last week when I was asked by my friend to come by to help him sort out his stuff and take my badger back — I was unable to come. Why?
Because of my girlfriend.
She just had to go mushroom picking and she demanded that I go with her. She imposed an ultimatum on me either they go mushroom picking, or she won’t sleep with me for a week.
Just to get this out of the way — I hate mushroom picking but looks like I had no other option, right?
This weekend my friend is relocating. So, he must either get rid of my stuff (video games, records and the badger) or he will have to take them abroad. Within two hours I showed up after 3 years of never showing up. Yes, my I haven’t seen my […]