Category: Caregiving

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Soffia

Soffia

So a little about my grandmother. In short, she is very toxic. Old, of course, and sick. And I was her caregiver. There are six of us, including her, living in our home: my mom, dad, and two sisters. I’m the middle child.

My grandmother is always trying to start drama with the rest of the family. A few months ago she accused me of stealing $5 from her. Before that, she had made my younger sister’s friends miserable. My younger sister wanted to play with a friend – who was black – so in response to this, my grandmother went into her car and followed my younger sister around the neighborhood telling her to go home and not play with black people.

My grandmother has also bothered our neighbors about things, got into an argument with my neighbor’s mother, and if she doesn’t get what she wants, she will lay on the couch near the front door and scream.

She screams that she is dying! And does this on and on for at least two hours straight. One incident happened roughly two weeks ago when my older sister refused to buy her chicken. Consequently, my mother actually took my grandmother to the hospital where she was checked out for 60 minutes and given some prescription medicine.

This wasn’t the first time my grandmother pulled a stunt like this, crying and screaming and pretending to die on the couch. She had done this before, I can’t remember what for, but I remember that my sisters and I were in the upstairs hallway. My grandmother sat on the stairs trying to prevent us from leaving so when we refused to talk to her she again pretended to die and scream for two hours when she was perfectly fine. She has made my mother and father very stressed.

My father had supported my grandmother all his life, which is why she lives with us even today – plus she has no where else to go. There are so many other stories my family could probably tell about her; despite her being extremely abusive, we all love her very much.

All she does is complain. At some point last year we tried to get her into a nursing home, but it would cost us $4000 a month – a price that we can’t afford. I need help like many other caregivers and families. I don’t want my grandmother to make us miserable anymore. We want to be a family, where love and respect comes first.

This is my story. I am certain there are thousands of stories like these out there. We help those who we love, but who helps us?