My ex-girlfriend and I lived together for about three years. Like most couples, we went through a lot of things together. Sometimes she would just get really angry if things didn’t quite go her way. During those times, sometimes we’d argue loudly. I’ve never hit a woman. It goes against everything I believe in. When we’d fight, sometimes she’d throw things and even break them or other things. One time she used a cooler and smashed my car window with it. If you ever heard about domestic violence against men, this was a classic case, but I was really into her. I’m also very loyal and, as a Marine, I don’t give up easily.
I can put up with a lot of things and I thought this was worth fighting for, so I stayed. The only things that would have made me leave would have been infidelity because as I said, I am a very loyal person. She asked me once if I’d ever leave her and I told her that cheating would be the only thing that would be the final straw. She actually said, “You’d leave this?” kind of showing off her body (she used to model), and I said, “For that reason? Absolutely!”
I used to work a lot of hours, from 0500 until sometimes 1900 or 2000, but I made good money. She would work, too, but not as many hours as me. Her modeling jobs were sporadic, too. Sometimes she’d take lower-paying jobs.
One day I came home and there was someone else at the house. I knew him, but not very well as I hadn’t grown up in that area. She had, so she knew quite a few people. After he left, I asked her why he’d been there and she said that she’d had car trouble and that he had stopped by to help. That bothered me a bit, but I accepted that answer. It did sit in the back of my mind for a few days. About a week later, I ran into him again, just as he was leaving the house. He said hi to me and said he was just dropping something off. That was the night things came to a head.
We talked and after lots of questions and a lot of back and forth, she confessed that she’d cheated with him the last time he’d been at the house, and this time he really stopped by to drop something off.
I was so into this woman that I could see us getting married someday. That night, I packed my bags and left her with everything in the house. We didn’t own it but had an executive lease on it. I left that to her as well. I stayed in the area for another few weeks, got some money together, and within 3 months, left the state. People that knew us and had seen our fights told me that I should leave and that one day, they thought she might really harm me physically. I didn’t listen until that day. I still have a scar from when she bit me in the arm because I wouldn’t (physically) fight back.
Toxic relationships are like cancer. They start to eat away at you. You don’t reason with cancer. You don’t talk to it. You can’t bribe it. You just need to cut the disease out and move on. That’s what I did.