Have you stepped in tar?

The term TAR (Toxic Abusive Relationships) was coined by Dr. Jamie to help make sense out of a universal clinical situation that makes no sense at all. Dr. Jamie realized that a collective everyday language and a unique approach for those impacted by toxic individuals was vital. According to NIMH, the prevalence of personality disorders found in every walk of life is nearly 10%.

TAR is characterized by the Dark Triad of a lack of empathy, lack of accountability, and a Machiavellian approach in any relationship. Unsuspecting empathic people who have stepped in TAR are figuratively stuck in a dark, thick substance – composed of shame, blame, isolation, gaslighting, and trauma bonds – triggered by their own unresolved childhood wounds.

To help those who consider themselves the walking wounded or collateral damage left in the wake of narcissistic abuse, Dr. Jamie, along with an international team, founded TAR Network™.

We are all Johnny!

We all owe Johnny Depp a debt of gratitude for being so forthcoming in telling his story of abuse and toxicity throughout his relationship with Amber Heard. He helped us understand that intimate partner violence can occur at the hands of women.

Johnny Depp opened the door for men to talk about abuse at the hands of their partners.  It is our hope that this website will provide a safe, non-judgemental place to share your story.

“I pride myself on honesty… on truth. Truth is the only thing I’m interested in. Lies will get you nowhere, and lies build upon lies… I’m obsessed with the truth. It was the only time I was able to speak and use my own voice.”

 – Johnny Depp

Help us raise awareness of TAR!

We have a noble mission – to raise awareness of the effects of Toxic Abusive Relationships (TARs). Together, we can accomplish this mission with our voices by bringing hopeful stories of survival and recovery to those struggling to heal.

TAR Tales was created to provide all of us with a safe and confidential vehicle to share stories, coping skills, and outcomes that will help to form the foundation of our campaign to bring public health education and awareness globally.

Sharing stories is one of the most meaningful ways that we can connect as human beings. Listening to and learning from others in situations similar to our own allows us to bond and form deep connections that lead to healing. For those of you who struggle to open up, remember:

Safety is not the absence of the threat, but the presence of connection.

We have your back!

Here is the brutal – and extremely sad – truth. Society, with growing numbers of people directly responsible, enables abuse in many shapes and forms. We bring you TAR Tales – a safe place to share your truth.

Allegations of abuse must be taken seriously – with extreme care and timely action. No one – especially people who suffer from mental/emotional health disorders, addictions, or who have been abused – should be stigmatized, demonized, or otherwise ridiculed because they have been rendered as collateral damage at the hands of toxic individuals.

This is your opportunity to share your story safely, anonymously, and without prejudice.

Thank you for your courage in helping other victims through your story of hope and recovery.

Tell us your tale:

Only survivor stories that meet these criteria will be considered for publishing:
  • You must own your story and the rights to it. If you’re telling someone else’s story, please have their permission to do so.
  • The story must be grammatically correct and well-written.
  • The story must not include marketing-related links and must not be self-promotional.
  • Survivor stories that are approved for publishing will be published without notice.  Please check the site periodically to see if your post has been published.
  • Survivor/recovery story submission is not a guarantee of publication.
  • Your story cannot be an advertisement for your product or the equivalent of a sponsored post.
  • All links will be checked to ensure that they are valid, secure, and are not advertisement or spam.

We will not make any edits to your post with the possible exception of unrelated links, spelling, grammar and punctuation. The original message of the post will not be changed or refocused without your permission.


Please note that we understand the work that it takes to write a story like yours. With that being said, while we would love to publish every survivor story, only those that meet our guidelines, as outlined above, will be published.

* We are asking for your email so we can contact you about publishing your story in our future projects. We will not send you unsolicited email or share your info with any third party.

Who are we?


Education is the key to making more people aware of the signs of mental illnesses and treatment options.

CPTSD Foundation is here to provide the safety, life skills, relational education, and reparative experiences a survivor needs so they can create new habits and experience optimum health in every area of life.

The art and science of human connection.

Polyvagal Institute is a not-for-profit dedicated to creating a new paradigm for health and wellness. They provide training, support community and facilitate research centered around a revolutionary understanding of the body and mind, as presented in the work of Stephen Porges and Polyvagal Theory.