A TAR Tale by Nico

I’ve been through a lot, like many others who have unfortunately dated, married, or had children with narcissistic women. The fact is that narcissistic women are some of the most dangerous creatures out there. But I managed to escape the abuse.

Just after New Year’s Eve, with help from my family and friends, I was evacuated from this abusive relationship. It was hard for me to leave her, especially since we have a baby together. But I had no other option.

Let me rephrase this – I had two options: either I would stay and continue to suffer, or I would leave, suffer, and suffer even more and then slowly heal, stand back on my feet, and be there for my son.

I chose to be there for my son – to give him an example of a healthy relationship.

Currently, I am in very bad shape, like many who have been emotionally and physically abused by narcissists. I started therapy, I thought of suicide, I thought of going back to her, I thought of going forward. Currently, I am living in my mother’s home.

The apartment that I bought is empty and I am unable to pay the mortgage – she robbed me of all the money. She wants the apartment to be sold and the money split evenly. She hasn’t invested a single dime into the apartment, and we were never married. But she still demands it. Legally, she has no right to demand any money that she hasn’t invested. “I will fight you until the end of my life if you don’t give me what I deserve!”

She asked for spousal support as well. She never answers my texts or emails. She even ignores the emails from the lawyers. She calls to shout and bully me, because she knows that everything that she writes down on paper could be potentially used against her. But if only the system worked this well. I don’t have many options.

I can get in more debt and pay her off but that won’t save me from her. I can fight her forever and get in debt again. Or I can just let the bank and the government take the apartment and then wait for the government to demand money from both me and her. Ironic.

“How do narcissists always win?”

They don’t. It is us who let them win. I left. So many other men haven’t and are stuck in the loop of abuse. I got out, physically.

Now it’s time for ME to get out emotionally and that will take time. My narcissistic ex took everything from me. She only left me one thing — a positive pregnancy test on the kitchen counter as a message. It devastated me.

Luckily, I planned my escape a month in advance. I didn’t expect her to turn out to be as cruel as she has shown herself to be. I still didn’t see my son. I am trying every day to get to see him.

How did I escape safely?

  • I planned and never hinted that I would be leaving her. I packed all the important documents that I needed and moved them to my mother’s house.
  • I spoke to people such as friends, family, and therapists about my situation.
  • I saved up a little amount of cash, so I could survive until the next payroll.

Soon she will realise what she has lost, and she will be an enraged narcissistic single mother who will go around telling lies about me. But I will still be around for my son.

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