A TAR Tale by Jelena


What Leaving A Narcissist Behind Has Taught Me…..

You should listen to people who love you. Your friends, your family, your coworkers, perhaps even your dog. At the time, you just didn’t listen. You thought you loved them more than anything, and you thought your best friends were overreacting. Oh how wrong you were!

It turned out, they were right all along. Now you know better. Now you know they were only trying to help you.

You must set boundaries. I lived in a fucking cupboard in my own house, where my ex never paid rent. How disturbing. The first thing I did when he was gone was to have lots of sex in that cupboard; and I still do. 

You can’t let anyone have control over you. When you say something, stick to it; otherwise, they’ll walk all over you. Once, twice, three, times. And they will always blame someone else. No matter how much you gave them. They will steal. Oh yeah, I was ripped off, what kind of person steals from a dying person? A narcissist. But that’s past now. I am so grateful for my new life, for the life I dreamed of, and that I can finally live to the fullest. 

Words don’t mean anything. They are only spoken to give false hope. Narcs do that all the time. They promise all kinds of things just to calm and fool you. Words don’t mean anything to them. 

Actions are what counts. Now I have a man who would literally kill for me. I would never ask. But I know now what love can look like. I am taking it slowly, as I am still shocked that men like him exist, and they do. I haven’t known him that long, but I am already considered his wife.

Forgiveness is a blessing. You can’t stay mad forever. The sooner you forgive yourself and make peace with what happened, the better you’re going to heal. It’s the hardest and most important lesson I’ve learned. And I did forgive myself, but I will never forget my mistakes and I will always take any opportunity to educate others. 

And lastly, don’t put yourself at stake just to save a relationship that is actually not worth saving. Nothing will go down the drain. Life won’t stop if you break up with him or her. Life will improve, things will be better, and you’ll be happier. Nothing is worth destroying yourself.


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