4 AM phone calls…
This is what I’m living now …
I’m guessing is okay to feel so much pain much. But is not.
I am drowning in my own tears.
I don’t know how to escape the spiral of madness l but I have hope there is a cure somewhere out there.
Where? In Paris? In Prague? In Buchurest? In me?
I don’t know. I will find my way.
I heard someone say to me, we are crossing the bridge of troubled waters. I feel can’t swim.
How does that feel???
Hard. Nah, that’s not the right word. It feels like I am burning from the inside.
I don’t care anymore.
I genuinely believe life starts with yourself.
I need help, and I asked for it. I didn’t see this coming. There is still authenticity in this world. Love doesn’t have to hurt. But it’s killing me now.
I am not judged for the first time in my life by my new family of choice.
But I still judge myself.
Today, I want to jump from the bridge, because I am caught in a storm that I cannot control.